if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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