worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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