FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
