I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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