Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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