i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
