dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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