Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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