grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
the liver wants what the liver wants
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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