I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Alive.
So much puke
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
