Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
