just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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