Joe is yelling at the trees again.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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