She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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