WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Can Purell be used as lube?
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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