David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Randomize
