All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
did i just pee glitter
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
