They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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