Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
