Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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