Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
