is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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