wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
