4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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