He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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