Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
How does it feel to date your dad?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
