We're like a lot better than the average bears
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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