Jerry, you need to find god
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Randomize
