sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize