If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
