It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
