I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I am available for nakedness
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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