Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
