i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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