Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
