White coat. Heels.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Even my vagina gasped.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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