your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
