So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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