Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
