drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Randomize
