Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
