Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
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