Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
