i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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