you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
The Olympian is in my bed
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
My life is pants optional.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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