If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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