so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
My bed is full of blood and feathers
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
