Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
