So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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