I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
