Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
